Jan 2016
Dear Campbell,
. . .
Watching a family member waste away is a horrifying experience.
Knowing that I could do little to help my little brother was almost as crippling as watching the same young man strike our mother.
Knowing that I would be subjected to the same treatment was also discomforting.
Having people tell me all the horrible things he had done was never comforting.
Watching my car window shatter due to a fist and a family dispute made me realize that things were getting out of hand.
Looking up to talk to my own brother was as odd as speaking formally to a new born.
But the worst thing that I ever did was nothing.
I'm sorry Campbell, I feel as though I failed you as an older brother, I was both intimidated by your size and scared of my own brother rejecting my advice that would have been provided only for your betterment. I know that I am a failure in most facets of life but it pains me most to know that I could never set an good example. You excelled in all the sports that we played together and were always better at enchanting the hearts of young girls. I just wish I had a way to go back and do things right. I wish I could do something to help you, because in reality all I did was encourage you with every ride to a trap and in all my participation of your antics. This is mostly an apology that you will never see because you are locked away in a rehab. You seem to be getting better. I hope you do not revert to your old ways when you get out, I hope you don't run with the same crew of kids and get caught up in the same illegal activities.
I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough for you.
It seems like I'm not good enough for anyone.
But if you ever need help in any way, shape or form know that I will be only a call away.
Love,
Your brother
. . .
Watching a family member waste away is a horrifying experience.
Knowing that I could do little to help my little brother was almost as crippling as watching the same young man strike our mother.
Knowing that I would be subjected to the same treatment was also discomforting.
Having people tell me all the horrible things he had done was never comforting.
Watching my car window shatter due to a fist and a family dispute made me realize that things were getting out of hand.
Looking up to talk to my own brother was as odd as speaking formally to a new born.
But the worst thing that I ever did was nothing.
I'm sorry Campbell, I feel as though I failed you as an older brother, I was both intimidated by your size and scared of my own brother rejecting my advice that would have been provided only for your betterment. I know that I am a failure in most facets of life but it pains me most to know that I could never set an good example. You excelled in all the sports that we played together and were always better at enchanting the hearts of young girls. I just wish I had a way to go back and do things right. I wish I could do something to help you, because in reality all I did was encourage you with every ride to a trap and in all my participation of your antics. This is mostly an apology that you will never see because you are locked away in a rehab. You seem to be getting better. I hope you do not revert to your old ways when you get out, I hope you don't run with the same crew of kids and get caught up in the same illegal activities.
I'm sorry that I wasn't good enough for you.
It seems like I'm not good enough for anyone.
But if you ever need help in any way, shape or form know that I will be only a call away.
Love,
Your brother
