She saved us all from a life of mediocrity. silly smart beautiful barefoot dancer in the flower bed Nurturing to everyone leaving the least for herself She was my best friend, but we were hell at parties I remember her in a paper dress that was a picture of a cat some hippie outfit, with a smile half way out of our house on wheels Yoga dancing every day doing something for the sun meeting each and every face of God more often with the passing years she would drink a disillusioned toast to lost chances and opportunities as the medicine cabinet grew in color and content Taking the brunt of our losses for herself with inner mingled heaven sent victories and joys One day she arose yellow as the sun and swelling she took it lightly as a drop of rain with one liners we'll never forget "So much for retiring in Mexico." she would quip with a nervous laugh It was the pancreas some say the very worst place but there's a point where pain is pain- inseparable from itself I tried to make it home in time to say "goodbye" I missed her by four hundred miles, I'll put that in my box of guilt and hide it somewhere out of sight for now. She didn't go easy, I didn't bother asking God why he would let her go that way, thrashing holding on to life, maybe hoping against that four hundred mile gap that I put on a mantle behind a broken vase She was my best friend but we were hell at parties.