Sometimes I’d like to buy a box
a metal one
and put myself in it
Air tight and self sufficient
with a tiny peep-hole on the side
Sometimes I’d like to close my eyes
Pretend like I’m floating on the outside
of life
Pretend that no one can see my eyes
and interpret my uncertain smile

Sometimes I wish I could curl up tight
in the quiet of my mind
and wrap up all the loose ends
on the outside
turn off the messy
the cautious
the lies

Sometimes I wish I could get inside
one of the books I read at night
turn off the questions
and turn off the light
sometimes I am the wall
I hide behind

Sometimes I want to shut you out
for fear I will hurt you
or hurt myself
But most of all
I wish we’d just know
that we’re fine
that we’re loved
that we’re not letting go


© 2011 Zoe Ray Johnson