Sugar
A thousand colours combine
        in a war, a rage against darkness
and nothingness, the evils and goods of this anaesthetised numbness
residing within me,
                blinding with the promise of the blank canvas
                                                             the porcelain wrist before the cancer takes hold.
For that is what I am, a Cancer.
   A breath of hot air against your innocent flesh,
         suffocating, intoxicating.
   You yearn for me in all I am
      from the moment dark hands drag me from life
      til your lips close around my scent,
            an envelope of love letters
            you never sent.

I am your addiction
    (let me be the sugar within you)

               your infatuation
                   (stir me into your tea)

                              your drug.

Let me in.
Let me in
                  and I will **** you from the inside out,
I will ignite your eyes with flames
                  and the world will marvel at your beauty,
   like acid at the back of your throat
      tears burning
         like fireflies
            like embers dancing
                  none but me will see the ashes fall inside you.
A black snow,
   drifting slowly down inside you
A black snow,
   nothingness has won; the war is over
   as your speech becomes slurred
A black snow,
   come
      to make me grey
         as I watch your mind unravel
                                           like the wire of an old cassette tape
                                                                                           and wind around my neck.





You thought it made sense,
this story.
Like the words had an order
Like your footsteps had an order
as you danced across the ballroom of my flesh.
one two three
       two two three
engraving your history
into my skin.
As though it cannot be undone,
Like the letters cannot unwrite themselves
Like you cannot find yourself
in a snare of black cassette wire
screaming
as it winds itself around the tree trunks and branches that scatter your mind;
piecing me back together.
Like the letters cannot unwrite themselves
the snow cannot fall upwards
the ashes cannot fall upwards

Like you cannot find yourself lost in the forest of this story you found yourself in
and retake
       retake
your very last breath.

You thought it made sense,
this story

*J.S.