I lost track of everything I wasn't going to write
Upon my decision not to
So without a clue and with a severe lack of consensual thought
Between my brain and my mouth
I begin to spill my heart to you

On your shoulder I slosh my vows and beg of you
Believe darling, believe me too

If I try I can count the tears in your eyes
Watching them fall makes me want to scream
but shutting my eyes hurts even more
so I can only watch them stream and begin to tell you my lore.

I told you I feel like the ****** bullet in your side
The wound hurts and the blood stains
But you are to embarrassed to call the surgeon
And your nervous fingers won't let it heal.

You told me I was crazy without a doubt
The one thing you could know for sure

And that whatever I know is wrong
and who I found inside myself was only there to fill the space.

I said to you that 'empty hurt' was filled
When I saw you smile at me from across the street
It's and you're gone, now too
But I still love you.

After that you swore you were fine
But your heart was screaming it was a lie
I heard it loud and clear, I can't fight.

I'm sobbing
Not here, not on the outside
But I'm filling up with tears
I tried to tell you that
But every time I opened my mouth
The tears would threaten to come out
so I swallowed hard and turned my head.

I wanted nothing more then to fall back on your bed
With your head next to mine on a pillow
I almost did.

I was tracing the stars with my eyes out the window
Just to keep out of the conversation
I knew we were about to start
I lost track of what was happening after about 20 seconds.

I nearly was asleep
But the silent scream between the two of us
Was too much to bare on a sleeping self.

Mixed up, I finally lied myself down
Utterly confused beyond comprehension
I looked up at your eyes still starry and smiled
I couldn't resist.
When I forget why I'm crying
I just can't help but laugh.