Please leave me alone.
Stop telling me to be skinner, I am happier.
Stop telling me to be taller, I am happier.
I am happy being me.
Your comfort is pointless; I am gorgeous when I cry.

The more you force feed us your lies and expectations the thinner we get,
the closer we get to your ideal
your nothingness.
Until we eat ourselves away into nothing.
We rot into nothing.
Devoid of flavor and taste,
of heart and emotion.
So thin even the blood is our veins weighs too much.
And our heavy hearts and full heads are forced to be emptied,
just so we are thin enough to fit into your ideal,
so that I can compete at the optimum level.

**** the playing field, this is war.
This is me vs. her vs. him vs. them
I will fast for days so I can win this war.
Because that’s what they tell us to do.
To win, to win her, to win him; I must win his affection, his eye, his gaze.
I must win.
I am not allowed to congratulate anyone, to feel empathy or love.
Everyone is an enemy, everyone is a friend.
At the end of the day we’re all helping each other, you see.
We want you to be healthy!
We want you here, with us, stay with us!
Join us.
Be with us.
Be with me.
I’ll do whatever it takes!
Keep me!
I promise, by Spring I will fit into those jeans,
into that ideal.
But for now, my waist is too big, my hips too wide.
I promise you, by Spring, I will have completely changed.
Being a medium was always too big anyway.