Maybe what I need to write
isn't something that reflects how I feel
but rather
how the world around me is beautiful even
when I am recovering from crippling embarrassment while
I was the center of attention.
How there's sunlight coming into the room at such an angle
that it creates a heavenly glow across the walls,
or maybe how much wearing sweatpants in bed make the experience
so sweet.
How a sad song makes me happy because
it takes away my anger
and replaces it with serenity.
How there's a walk one step out of the door to where ever i go that
keeps my head clear
and reminds me how even when it's freezing its a gorgeous day
because I'm living in it, not dying.
Writing about how beautiful this world can be
when I can't find that beauty..
it's therapeutic.