that feeling where your stomach sinks
and your body betrays you in your time of need
when glass runs through your veins
and the mirror before you is broken and black
this is when the monsters crawl out from under your bed
and the nightmares you laid to rest haunt your dreams
when she is in everyones arms but mine
and you can see nothing but the future you never had
laughing in your face as you feel like you could crawl out of your skin
finding comfort in the impermanence of the
cigarettes smoke thats dangling from your lips
smoked until the embers are all gone out
how can you feel the sun on your face
when your past enshrouds you in a fog so thick
pulling you back to the places you tried to escape
are you to jaded to love
to hardened to care
apathy
the emptiness of nothing
how have you gotten here
how can you leave
do you want to leave
this feast on your soul
as your mind rots and your future slides
from your fingers and from your bones
looking at all youll never have
a minute
an hour
a day
a lifetime too late
and theres no way to change the present
no way to relive the past
and no way to stop the inexorable march of time to the future
where is the future you never had
why are you hesitating on the bridge, the cliff
the jump
the fall
and the most exhilarating moments of your life
before the end. nothing
there is nothing to be afraid of
coward
*******
labels that mean nothing
only skeletons in the closet hid under the new paint
the false cheer
and the hatred you feel when everything is ok
i want things to be broken
this is how it feels to be alone