3 a.m.
and I'm thinking again.
Yes or no,
do I stay or go?
At night I fly
no goodbyes
or sweet lullabies
just wind beneath my wings.
My hair blown back
a smile on my face,
this is it.
This is my race.
So why does my stomach start to twist
and the sky darkens
as my feeling
of being fulfilled
turns into me being
full of what-ifs?
What if I were to die tomorrow?
What if i'm not liked?
What if the clouds fell down
and all my achievements earned were frowns?
What if my paranoia
presents as reality
and I forget to breathe?
Will I stay or go,
yes or no?
Is it worth the wait
if what it gets me
isn't gain?
Is it worth the try,
to trudge through this pain
when I fail to sleep
every night's the same.
I'm worn out
and my time has
run thin.
6 a.m.
and time to
start my day again.