I am tired of listening to people cry.
I do not want to hear their weeping.
Every night, I lay awake and wonder 'God, why me? Why?'.
It is something dark, and right through my skin it is slowly seeping.
I put on a smile and much laughter.
Behind it, is a crushed, tired spirit.
Every day, it all just gets harder and harder.
Is this really everything I merit?
I stay strong through it all, I will not shed a tear.
Everything is just too much for me to handle, but yet, I still stand.
My screams and pleas, does not anyone hear?
I feel like I am standing in sinking sand.
Falling slowly, day by day.
It is times like this when I wonder, "How is it that I bend, but never break?".
There are simply no words left to say.
I wonder sometimes how it would feel to break, would it make my spirit shake?
How much more must I take, this is not what I set out to be.
Now, my heart just aches.
I want to just cry, let it all out, not caring what the world thought of me.
But the tears will not come, all that is left is anger and sadness, I do not feel awake.
I hold it all in, and **** it all up.
It is me against the world, as always, not much has changed.
Here I am, thrown on the ground once more, on my way back to the top.
I will only be thrown back down, but hey, at least I am liberated from my chains.
I refuse to back away, I will stand in the rain.
It all comes crashing down, my failures shoved in my face.
I do not know what the future holds, but I will try to withstand the pain.
Life is hard, I know that, you do not have to tell me, I just want to win this race.
After all that I've been through, am going through and will go through, what is left?
Tell me, what waits for me at the end of this fight with myself?
I am crawling, I cannot even stand, I am almost at the end of my rope, am I there yet?
I just want to shove this all in a box, and hide it away forever on a shelf.
I hide away, hide away, try to push everything aside.
I am tired, my head I wish I could lay.
I hope this does not come back to haunt me, for sadly, in my fear I reside.
Here we go, here begins yet another day.