I’m having an out of body experience of the worst kind
Watching my body walk pointless shapes in rising tides
Taking turns between wandering and drowning
The pain feels so surreal
Coming and going; ebbing away at me
Never knowing when my head will go under again
And all I can do is watch and wait
I’m helpless to stop this cycle
Decisions I’ve made have tied me here
Remember, relive, regret and repeat
These are the tides in my ocean of misery
And even now, as the water laps gently at my chin
I wonder
What other decision I could have made?
Would I have only delayed my place here?
Can I fix what I have broken?
When I know it will never be the same?
And when my body finally walks away from this sea of misery
Will I still regret?
Will I ever be the same?
Will I be ok?