I fear it from an inside
My lips ~ refusal to move
Seeking fervently, shadows to conceal
my existence; to hide
Drowning; morbid dying in the
sorrowed soul's tears
Scavenging for my god
Digging for redemption, for salvation
Questioning my faith
I'm told, once again, to believe
That, only then, there will be a
hope in which to receive
He calls out to me
Audible to my ears
His beckoning reaches to even my
recesses darkest and deep
I'm washed away in a flood
Self-inflicted, torturous death
Fading
Then the whisper
'Go back to sleep'
Still, my weary mind rambles onward
Shattering into puzzle pieces
The artistic portrayal of who I
truly am
Though, I find no one who could
reconnect those pieces to again
build ~ again create, a whole
So, I am broken, shattered, crumbling
on a downward spiral
Yet again, He beckons
Calling out my very own name
"Oh Beautiful Daughter,
"I see not, your sins."
I fall to my knees
Utmost gratitude conceived
Though I remain too afraid to believe
I trust Him; words flawless to
every form of life
It's, alone, myself I cannot face
My mirror's as shattered as my soul
Those weak, disgracing, foul steps
I daily take
As I trudge down my chosen life
path of misery
A path to spawn animosity, contempt,
bitterness throughout
Victimization
And nevertheless, He follows
Offering continually His hand
The Divine Hand
I shutter at such a notion!
Oh! How I don't deserve!
My broken puzzle has cracked
open my mask
Lies to be uncovered ~ lies of mine
Revealed by my subconscious' truths
I collapse to the earth
Piercing my body with stones
and thorns
Pierced flesh, it bleeds
As was once shed upon a cross
Stop my feet now, please! Oh, stop me!
I'm running... running away
The light, so beautiful, so pure
I, a stain, to be cleansed; washed away
His voice, so powerful, yet gentle
and loving
A child's perception of her father's
tones
And now, a message He declares
unto this mortal me
"Quit your resisting,
"Oh Beautiful Daughter of Mine
"It was for your sake I created
the light of day
"Come now, My child
"I've spoken, and you are worthy
"Bathe yourself in the oceans of
My grace's eternal waters"
My shattered fragments arise
Fitting together a work of art
too undefinable to speak of
In this new found light of grace, I bawl
In new tears, I rejoice
I have felt my Maker's unconditional love; His grace
I've been possessed by His showering of love