If only he could paint what he feels deep within, and not just what he sees, his paintings would be transcendent. But anymore, what he feels is elusive, hidden somewhere beyond the descriptive, beyond the stroke of his brush and the complexities of his paint, beyond his ability to put emotion and insight to canvas.
He's begun to question himself, no longer the confident painter but now far too introspective and unsure of his talent, a talent that used to reveal itself with flare, color and a successful style. Melancholy has set in, frustrating any attempts to get beyond the feeling of hopelessness.
Someone who would never equate himself with the great painters, knowing the limits of his own talent, he nevertheless wonders - could this be how Van Gogh felt in his despair?