here's a big *******
to all the people who made me this way
who made me feel i am
hard to love
who made me feel like i am not enough
who made me feel insecure in their love
who made me beg and cry
and suffer through their silences
while i tortured myself over
what i'd possibly done to deserve it
who said i was too sensitive
and needed to make myself happy
because they couldn't be bothered to
ensure that i was safe and comfortable
with them
who put themselves first
and me last

and here's the biggest *******
to myself
for allowing any of this
and not seeing the forest for the trees
i deserved better
i deserved more
and now i'm haunted by these memories
because i can't make myself
believe that i am deserving