since my worst heartbreak
i have fooled around with love
each attempt useless
at first it's wonderful
beautiful even
and i'm happy
and he's happy
and we're okay.

but something struck a cord in me,
about a month into these relationships
i become anxious
not answering his calls
putting off meetings
i don't know why, though.
i wish i could love you
how you love me,
and so i leave you
because you deserve someone who
wants you permanently.
not someone who wants you for a little.

when i was little, my grandparents called my heartbreaker.

i never hoped that term would be actually put to use to describe me.


m.g.