There’s a puddle of tears for you
That I’ve left in the ashtray beside the bed
In all the infinitesimal moments
When I had too many things to do
Putting them away, one by one
Until I had enough for,
For one exodus of the grief
Like wringing your hands
Over the milk you spilled
Three years ago

So now I might have enough
To assuage the pride
They’re accounted for, every one
Maybe it’s loneliness I’m seeing
But I can still feel you
Like you aren’t gone forever
And you’re holding up these strings to keep my arms
And legs
And mouth moving
So I can pretend to be alright without you
And I hope you know that I was
Tying to cry
In august,
On main street
Or in the rain on the walkway.
But it just wasn’t the same
And I couldn’t make it real.
So I’m saving them now to show you
What it is, when I’m wearing your green t-shirt
And when I’m sick, and the only thing I can do
Is feel like ****