by Ryan P. Kinney

We fought, we thought.
We lived, we loved.

Anger/stupidity
Cold numb void
Unthinking, emotionless machine

I thought about you
And it made me cry

You wear a blissful grin
Like angels falling
My ancient wall of flowers
I see it in the darkness of your eyes

You got high on my experiences
Took my stories into your body
You loved it

Her shriek of terror, screaming
I’m worthless
How could I do this to her?

The tears stream
The blood flows from my ****
Diluted with stale coffee and ****** cigarettes

The heartbreaks, the beatings,
The suicidal thoughts
I made you paranoid, cynical, and distrusting

I wished you could be near me
I cursed the world,
I wished everything could be wonderful
No interferences

A cold gruesome memory
I don’t deserve her
Skin still embedded in glass
I see my twisted reflection
The monster I’ve become

I sealed my fate
Inside
life's last chapter,
a book so elegantly bound

No matter how you try to purge
You’ll never be rid of this poison
The world blinds, confuses, and muffles
My heart is often bound and gagged
So much like you

I went out to the bridge
Clutching my Bible
Never even opened it
And a letter from you,
Plunged into the river,
Still crying
No one was there
No angels to care

Just die…

We lied