i am stability. i am happiness. even better i had only ever dreamed of contentedness. what is stability? without its counter? a rigid line. a frozen mind. stuck in its parameter. lungs that inflate. exhale too late. thumbs are good for things. like ******* on and pointing blame. i blame you. for all the things ill never do. my clothes were full of mud. fingernails and blood. i thought to take them off. throw them in the wash. soap would turn them clean. i lay down to dream. now that ive awaken seems that ive mistakenly forgot to hang them out. to dry. to whither and to crack apart. to decompose back to the start. plant toadstools on my grave. i am chaos. i am despair. restlessness was that which only ever brought me anywhere. what is chaos? with no weapon to wield? a seed tossed on wet winds may germinate. never to yield. the fruit i bear is underdone. worm hole ridden. weakly hung. ill go back to bleaching my bones.