The lights from the city that shone through the window and twinkled behind you could never compare to the lights that flashed in your eyes when you said my name. Your nose used to crinkle when you talked about the things you loved, and I always thought I was one of them. The way you rolled your eyes when your smile was too big to contain, and the way you acted as if your favorite words weren't forever etched into your bones and memories. But they were, I watched you engrave them myself.  Those are some of the things I miss most. You always talked about how you hated goodbyes, and I suppose that's the reason I never got one when I woke up alone in what used to be our apartment before it became only mine. I tried to call a few times, but the dial tone always went straight to static, and it was too similar to the sound that my heart made the day you left, so I stopped calling. Every once in a while she'll post a picture online somewhere and I'll get a glimpse of your life without me. Your eyes in the picture are different than I remember them. They shine brighter for her than they ever did for me, and every feature I grew to love has burned to ashes with the fire she lit in your heart. Maybe that's the reason that every time I look at the city lights through the apartment window I see the way your eyes used to shine before I remember you're not coming back. Maybe that's why when I hear the sounds of the city all around me, I still search for a voice that can make me feel something, anything. The lights from the city that shone through the window could never compare to the light in your eyes when you stand next to the person that you love, and I want to tie cinder blocks to my ankles and sink to the bottom of the ocean in your eyes just so that I know that I'll always be a part of you. Now when I look at the lights they shine brighter than your eyes when you say my name or when you look at me, and that's how I know  you moved on. I can see in your eyes that you're finally happy