You don’t have to be careful just conscious. There’s a lot of pressure on my heart and I’m not very good at predicting the times when it bursts. It’s not always bad. Sometimes my face hurts from smiling and I dance in the rain and I get senselessly sick of the sound of my laugh. You’re allowed to hurt me; you get your turn. Yeah there’s aches that bring me to my knees and nights when my pillow soaks up sobs but that doesn’t make me fragile. I can handle all the heartsick; I can handle “kiss don’t tell.” I’m awake and I can feel you; I can tell you want to dream. You don’t have to be careful just conscious. I have scars that hurt some days. There’re some wishes on my lips that you can taste if you come close enough, I won’t be the one to tell you that I want this love to last. It’s a bore to bleed from bruises that should’ve been long gone, but my healing process takes some time and I think I broke the clock. I’m just saying there’s a time and place. There’s a time to err on the cautious side and there’s a time to start a fire; you know thinking straight can’t save us all when lust is in the air. I wish I had the guts to say that i only need myself; that the strength of my own bones is enough to keep me whole. But I learned a while back that dishonesty is dangerous and I can’t lie to my own chest. He said a lot of stuff and I guess I thought he meant it and it should hurt him that he hurt me but I don’t think it’s crossed his mind. You don’t have to be careful just conscious. I wanna tell you everything and you should listen if you can but if you need to kiss me harshly I’ll give in and pull you near. Yes there’s parts of me still mending and there’s parts of me I hate but I forced myself to leave it all and I feel like I’ve moved on. Even when I didn’t love him he was home to me and leaving home is hard; there’s a hole where all the comfort was and I’m scrambling for a pulse. Please understand that you will damage me and I’ll survive the shaking palms but the swells of pain will join the waves til the tsunami comes again. It’s not you that needs to save me; don’t hold back or bite your tongue. There are things I haven’t said and if you knew them you would laugh. You don’t have to believe me just back up; keep your blue eyes to yourself. I don’t even know what I’m saying but there’s this: I will pretend that I’m okay. It’s because I’m broken that the light gets in and I’ve been tired of the dark, so hold my hand and touch my waist and please steal all my breath.