I should....
no, can't
       can't     can't
won't.
refuse actually. do I like hurting? is there a reason I don't just
move       on
normally when goodbye is said, twice, it means you leave
as in put one foot out into space and
pull
     down
see what happens, see what passes. well, I really wasn't ever normal
knew that from the start
but this?
I'm on an edge. this thinned pathetic rim
that looks to me a bit
u
  n
     sta b l e
clearly
                        [not clearly]
there is a problem
or something broken
I'm dealing with it, but let's be honest
sometimes it feels like I'm
meshing with it
blendingintothisbigmess
that's so hard [for me only] to separate
forgot about that- have to be more specific
[for me only] is this still more than a bad taste in my mouth
[for me only] it stripped me of common sense
[for me only] I can't sleep at night
All I want to do is
         be free
free to either walk through a day and not think your name
name   name
       name               name name
or free to fall into your arms at the end of the day
every day
whatever
I know I talk to a wall
                                      wall
and I'm here              wall           and you're there
                                       wall
                                       wall
and I swear I'm putting all I have into
[insert "letting go" here]
but instead-
trying to understand why I can't
leave you behind