it has been so long
since i have thought of you
since i have thought of myself
since i have thought of the kiss we almost shared
since i have thought of the part of me i almost gave you
i am glad i didn't
i am glad you're gone
i am not glad to be alone
but i am not alone,
not really
because you were never all i had
you were what i wanted
(read: not needed)
it would've been nice,
it just would've been nice,
if there'd been something
some semblance of a half-assed apology
some semblance of something that showed me that
you ever cared for me
you never did,
you never did,
i'm convinced you weren't a coward
but a fool
a fool for not realizing what we could've been
we could've been magical
jesus we might've been forever,
if forever can live in the hearts of two teenagers who can
hardly hold hands
i thought we'd been forever
forever is not 3 years and some change
forevers don't treat each other like you did to me
if you'd been my forever
if you'd decided one day that you wanted to talk instead of scream
or at least shut the hell up for once (for once, let me scream)
i could've been yours
i would've been yours
but now it has been far to long
since i've considered even considering you a part of me