I suppose I hadn't supposed, hadn't thought what a true, deadened chrysalis wonder she was. Not until I pressed my lips against lobe and had to bend this way and that. Most awkward. Felt un-gentle-manly. Felt unwomanly. Felt like some copper etched away from an old photograph (is that why I... looked like such a fool?) benign attitude, work force, eat, eat, sleep, eat, *****, rob, and rot. my own mother sneered at me. she draped gritty cloths across my forehead and, o i died a smidge each time. now i cradle this thing... this beautiful, tragic, fawn, black euphoria, well, thing. spot on i can tell you i no wanna harm or grease the poor thang. thang will evolve to thong. she wuld naught grows up to eva, eva-- (emfucis- emp-emphaw sis. emphasis) like mama's own twisted chalice. **** she sure did remind me of jazz, the squeaky kind you don't eva seem to hear.