My grandfather was a high priest
a conjurer
a man who denied his own existence
he never played with guns until he shot himself
     when no one was looking
I was 11 years in the making
     slowly brought to fruition
pale of skin, almost colorless
my father did not know what to do with me
he would stare me down in the middle of the night
I learned to look away
or perhaps I was looking right at him

I took to tears easily
and threw tantrums even when I was happy
I once stood on my head
     for 3 days, 2 hours & 27 minutes
my parents took me to a shrink
     who was also a gymnast
I spoke upside-down to him
he nodded his head and tapped his feet
     and cartwheeled across the room
but I don’t think he really understood
My other grandfather was a Civil War general
     or maybe it was the Spanish American war
he spoke in anagrams and wove intricate tapestries
     he gave to the needy
he died late in life of a variety of sketchy illnesses

I was told he never laughed
neither did he sigh much
he was actually a lawyer
but where’s the poetry in that?
There are no dancers in my family, alas,
nor circus acrobats
but I’m pretty sure there were sailors going way back
and perhaps a pirate or two
     and definitely a damsel in distress






My parents met on a foggy foggy day
from then on they never saw each other clearly
still they married & had children
     one two three and four
one was a boy with a great hook shot
two was also a boy who could run and run and run
three was me
and four was a girl who got lost in the shuffle
We settled in a ramshackle bungalow on Park Avenue
no, wait, that’s some other family’s tall tale

I began to grow wings at the age of seven
but I refused to learn to fly
kids would taunt me and tease me
saying, “Fly, angel boy, fly!”
They once dragged me to the edge of a cliff
     and flung me over
I just rolled up into a ball and spun downward
multiplying numbers in my head to dull the pain
when I landed on the ground I tossed my wings aside
and skipped backwards all the way home

One summer’s day
     sick with fever and crows battering my brain
I discovered something inexplicably enticing
it fell upon my shoulders
down my chest and torso
I began speaking in tongues
became a true believer
my mother found tell tale signs one Christmas Eve
On that most silent of nights
she raised her voice
and demanded answers
I took the Fifth
     not knowing what I was doing,
         how could I explain it
She brought in the doctors and the experts
and even a shaman or two
they examined me up
they examined me down
they tested my brain waves
they locked me in a closet filled with suits and ties
they made me watch westerns & war movies
morning noon and night
and when the tumult and the shouting
     and the misguided attempts
          to brand me with normalcy died down
I gathered up my tears and danced once again
     into a sweet and mysterious underworld