Night digs deep
into your sub-conscious
which was asleep
in the day
it's an intruder
which has singled
you out for reasons
you can't  understand
it wants to know
your hidden secrets
and would not let you rest
until its mission is fulfilled

perhaps stripped
of your false exterior
and as the dust of the day
has fallen on your weary eyes
and you have drunk too much
(in these dark, sombre and lonely moments)
to soothe your pain
your defence mechanism
has broken down
(what's the harm now
of baring your heart
to an outsider?
you no longer
belong to yourself
and are opening up
as though seeking ablution)  

so you have no fear
in inviting the night
to take a journey
through your buried past
with its frightful shadows
and bleeding wounds
( the truth is
you need someone to share your thoughts)

now you are addressing the night
which is all ears and a sympathetic listener
even close to being a friend:

what had I done?
failed to do?
why my wayward ways?
why my follies and unkindness?
why did I hurt
and why they hurt me?

I have a thousand 'ifs'
and ten thousand 'buts'
as I walk back
to the confusing and muddled corridors of the past
do you hear me?
do you sense my despair and anger?
do you feel my hate raising its ominous head?
( by now, you are thinking I am a monster
and you are not wrong)

    You asked me
'Are you seeking redemption?
or is it too late now?'

   ( another glass of whisky down my throat)

I am drunk, dead drunk
I can't think
and why am I treating you
like a guest?

leave me alone

the moon seems to darken
and the stars are pointing
their sharp fingers at me

is all this but
a bad dream?