Ruby red lips.
Tear soaked cheeks.
Makeup smeared eyes.
Messy hair curtaining down.

No new reasons.
Just a broken heart that has never healed.
No new problem to be added to the list.
Just a list of problems that has yet been solved.
Breaks unable to mend.

I'm drowning in my own self loathing.
Dying in hatred.
Hatred of all my choices.
Including the choices I make to cope.

With my ruby red lips.
Tear soaked cheeks.
Makeup smeared eyes.
Messy hair curtaining down.

The wish of a bottle pressed to my lips.
The wish of a blade pressed to my skin.
The wish of a cigarette in my hand.
The wish of a pill resting on my tongue.
The wish to forget what it is I'm doing.

What I have done.
****...
What have I done?