I wish I could tell you I never put a cigarette to my lips. or that I never knew I would break your heart. how about I tell you the truth instead? I used to smoke because it made me feel good. now I smoke to get the taste of your name out of my mouth. I knew from the first time we kissed that I would break your heart. but I couldn't resist feeling your lips pressed against mine. I had to have it. I had to have you. boy, did you surprise me though. you had so much hidden behind you. then, it just kind of happened. I fell in love. not in the way you fall asleep either. & I didn't fall. I sort of stumbled upon it. every word you've ever written. every smile you've shot my way. everytime you laugh at me. I couldn't help but to wonder, how can I be so **** selfish? for all that time I knew what was bound to happen. yet I continued to love you. worst of all I continued to let you love me. I let you write over one hundred poems about me. I let you consume me. I let you open doors for me while I slammed them in your face. why did you stay for so long? why? I don't get it. I just don't get it. you had to have an implication on how we would end. had you not? although I tore you apart, I think what I messed up most was myself. I had no intentions on loving you like I did. I had no intentions on loving you like I do. it's funny. ha. I knew I would leave fragments everywhere. but you, you left a striking warpath. who ever knew such a beauty could cause such destruction? you are a tornado. I've always wanted to be a storm chaser. you are the sunsets, the storms, the bitter cold. a few of my favorite things.