I wanted that picture so **** bad because in the 16 years we were all together we didn't take one
I wanted to hang it on my wall but a year later I want to burn it
I want to burn it and forget that we as a family ever happened
I want to pretend that my life is a soap opera and I'm not the main star
I wish things would fall into place
that my life would suddenly go back to 2014 and not change
but then I realize I would still be wishing for a change
and I hate that
I always wished it would happen and I thought I would be happier
but I just realized that I hated living sometimes
Every emotion just came at me all at once and 11 months later I'm sorting and deciding which one I have to deal with next
The day it happened I cried for about an hour and then the next three months I felt nothing then I was overwhelmed and scared and now I feel sad and lonely and a tad bit ****** at everyone all the time and some for absolutely no reason but the fact that they get an outside view and don't have be the person in the middle