Pain is river inside my bones
The art of unrequited love is it paints with dry brushes
Cracking the valleys and bones of your canvas body
Careless in acting of one thing but being another
Cupid is ******* irresponsible
I'd swallow poison if it tasted like you
Most of the time I'm scared to death
But I'm quite a fool for love
Curled in a ball sipping wine about you
Staining my lips that yours have yet to touch
I talk to trees about you
How I wish our love would grow like vines
Intertwine our bones, reach up
Do not leave the sky so soon
My tears are all over this city
In every coffee shop, vacant parking lot, public restroom
I drown out these desert concrete streets with your name on my tongue
You're exactly the madness I need
But I am fire breathing, I will not tell you what I am feeling for fear of burning you
******* my words with stutters and cheeks so red you mistake them for roses
I know that you don't love me
And that I am frequently a bother to your active lifestyle
I am sorry for being the way that I am in ways that you do not favor
I would meet with every voodoo, black magic, magician, wizard, witch, sorcerer
If they could mold me into someone you would want
It's pathetic I know, that I would tear off parts of me that I earned and once loved because some love is stronger than other and triumphs if it means it will be returned for it is the greatest beauty in this world
Where one does not question actions, dig deeper into conversation, body language
It is something I have not yet experienced and I had hoped it would be you to make the change
This is the sound of a mind coming undone, the twisting feeling of a migraine mixed with a bullet and you grandfathers old bottle of whiskey
I do not take this lightly, and I need you more than I need another cigarette
This is not a love poem
I am not trying to make you love me, I am not trying to tell you that I do
I would hate for you to have to bare knowing that you are the reason someone's soul is breaking
Would hate for you to feel guilty if feeling was to be possible for you
I hate you for making me feel so barren, deserted, hollow
I feel if I trip over one more misguided assumption I will fracture the whole structure of my body
I am a ribcage with no sharp corners to trigger your concern
I never imagined love would be so painful
As a child, I would paint pictures on the walls of my bedroom with stick figure lovers and hearts booming from their embrace, holy and sacred, untouched with the truths of reality
I know that when we are young we are naïve
And I am still young and I am still naïve
I will believe you even if I know that I shouldn’t, I will not mark boundaries because it would make me want to cross them
I cannot see how far I've come
Cannot see the surface, cannot see the sky
I feel I am being swallowed and you are taking flight
Tell me how the weather is, I hope it is wonderful
And I hope that you, in search of someone better, will find them
And that you will fall so far in love you wonder if the surface is now only a conspiracy theory
You are so deep in romance that mediocrity is unspeakable
I hope she loved you better than I did
Because, though it is hard for me to say this out loud, I didn't give you my best when I had the chance
So maybe she is smarter than me, maybe she will give you what you've deserved this whole time