I sit on my own in a restaurant And at the table next to me A guy’s grabbing a hunny’s **** And giving it all the googly eyes; He smiles. It’s a first date. He’s done her already And she is a stunner Eastern European A body built like an athlete A body you’d **** yourself for Just for a sip of that amber nectar The body of a woman that puts fire in the ***** And gives way to sleepless nights. He was grinning And I was lost in my Vichyssoise But as the evening wears on The passion disintegrates Into mindless rote They were onto eating sandwiches And I was onto the lobster I know that you shouldn’t bring a sandwich To a buffet. The guy with the Bulgarian hunny learnt that too: As soon as the guy looks up and begins to give his order to the waitress The Bulgarian hunny interrupts him “I would to order...” “Bradley, don’t you look at another woman – He’ll be having the salad and the tuna steak. You know you’re not having a **** steak I don’t want you dying of a heart attack before you’re forty. And I’m certainly not going to be left to feed 6 kids!” There was an awkward silence Every time Bradley tried to get a word in the Hot Bulgarian fluttered her big brown eyes And shrugged her shoulder. “Boy, save the charm for the ******* your arm.” God, if I were him I would sleep with one eye open. And I know if they had a bunny It would be on the stove by now. The conversation gently continued, Poor Bradley couldn’t look at another woman Throughout the evening It was decided: 3 boys and 3 girls And not one would be thought to be called Bradley Jr. They had to graduate They had to work five years And have full dental plans All this was going on before The salads. I have to laugh Hahahahahaha When one is faced with a beauty like that That’s a maniac I have to think: You can’t taste the milk And then not put a down payment on the cow.