I love you I miss you and I never meant to hurt you
I won’t say I’m sorry because isolating myself is the best thing I’ve ever done for me I’m finally getting to know myself again and now I know why I was never happy
The thing is I was too caught up with you and your messes to realize I was beginning to unravel from the inside out
I was too busy making sure everyone else got their own happy ending that I forgot who I am and what I needed
Now I realize I needed more
I need someone to remind me to breathe to step away keep my sanity stitch myself together and bleed my own sorrows
Everything you are, resided in me everything they needed flowing in my veins every dream slept in my heart and yet everything that I am was nowhere to be found and I can’t be that again
So this is goodbye to the girl I used to be and sleepless nights worrying about tomorrow’s sorrows wishing I could take the pain away 'til one day I did and never stopped I whittled myself away until I was nothing without the pain plaguing you and those around me
I became addicted to ******* the pain out of you and into me inflating myself back to life just so you wouldn’t disappear I never showed it but I was slowly going insane always needing more pain
You always said I never wanted stability and you were right because if everything was alright I had no clue who I was and I couldn’t fill myself back to life
5-13-15 To the best friend I once had. I'm sorry it took so long to say this. I tried to get the words out in person but I never quite could.