im rotting within myself
im the living definition of a cavity
bleached and beautiful on the outside
but rotting in black sut on the inside

i did not take my medicine today
therefor i am anxious
overly anxious
my nerves are telling me something atrocious is about to happen
but it simply is not
im trembling
no one can help me
no one can soothe me
my phone was gone half of my day
my safety blanket
was gone
that means i was gone with it
i've been gone
im so gone
let these meds flow

i tried to text you for comfort
but you could give a **** less about me
you were drunk
while i was pouring myself out to you
you joked around
another reminder that i have no one
lonlieness poked me at my every pressure point
im irked
scared
restless
it sickens me that i need you in my breaking points, i need you in my 2 am thoughts
i need you to calm me
but all you cared about was the ***
you didnt care about me in my breaking points
you dont care about my thoughts at 2 am
its okay

if i were you i wouldnt care either
im too easy

please mercy me
let me fall out of myself
for the sake of myself