i think how we need to be loved as adults stems from our childhood (or lack thereof).
if you were abandoned, you need to be smothered, to know every second that you're adored. but as a child you were always alone, so the very love you crave makes you feel suffocated and crawling white knuckled to get out.
and so this war rages inside of us, until we have exhausted ourselves & perhaps those who were brave enough to extend their hands.