be aware of me
be afraid of me
be terrified ******
look at me
from a safe distance
i am the open wound of child abuse
though i am no longer a child
it has not yet stopped
i was left alone
and now i am not only an open wound
but a rotting and festering wound

look at me
but do not make a sound
do not breathe
do not even say a word
i do not want your apologies
or your ******* excuses
because i know that you saw the
cuts and the blood
the bags under my eyes
and eventually the jutting bones of my hips
my ribs
like cage bars
struggling to rip through stretched taut skin
the bumps of my spine
and you did not hug me anymore
perhaps you were afraid of hurting yourself
on my sharp edges

and i got so cold
all skin and bones
mostly bones at that point
even a hand to the hot burner
did nothing to stem the chill
and my stick thin arms
elbows like bowling *****
could not wrap around myself
hard enough and close enough
to chase away the icy winds
i shivered for so long
but you took no heed

i am still shivering
but now i have become accustomed
to it
it is all i know
so now
i do nothing to stop the chill