I*  lied

I told you that I love(d) you.
I thought I did.
You are everything I could desire and ask for..
Yet my prayers of a man that would love me ten times more than I would love him, were answered.
An now I despise the curse I have planted on myself.
I am not in love with you, you intrigued me for a while and then you became a burden.
I know I am wrong...
And I apologize..
I used you for attention to distract me from the penitention that I have placed myself in.
Loved and the losted
Pain that is fought
False assumptions of monogamy
When really
I just find you rather...
Comforting..
But now I am stuck in my own quick sand of confusion and thought.
That maybe one day..
You'll be that love that  was actually losted
As the days roll on I push myself to love you the way I love my tea..
But you are not intriguing to me
A little less for me
A man with baggage that's way to excessive ..
For  me
I just wanted to help you.
Help you to help you heal your own pain because hurt people only hurt  other   people.
My mother warned me before I dived into this amateur love story.
That love isn't always the medicine for pain..