Walking through crowds is an experience equivalent to suffocating

I can’t avoid them even when I’m staring down
I’ll see their conniving other halves
Black and soulless
Empty and treacherous
Crawling about near the bottom of my feet
Wrapping themselves around my ankles
Never facing a specific way
No eyes for me to look at
To determine their candor
Their abundance of humanity
A reassurance that
When I turn my back
There won’t be a cold, silver dagger
Snaking it’s way into my soft, unassuming flesh

I hate the way their faces always demand something from me
What the **** is there to give?
Whatever’s on your agenda I don’t want to be a part of it
I’m a person by nature
Seemingly capable of a variety of feelings
But I’m an empty carcass by choice
I don’t want contact or connection
Only a coffee in my hand and the knowledge that the sun will set on another day

Their boisterous laughs, loud voices, spittle projecting from their mouths
Group of ditzy girls in front of me
Impatient old man behind me
All plotting to push off of the sidewalk
Disgusting aimless animals
It’s always an internal right
To get ahead, be ahead, to yell ******* for insulting their bigotry
Their infectious god complex
Where everyone’s certain their the best
All racing towards a cliff foaming at its mouth
To taste their massive demise

And you’ll see me trotting along behind
With the sewer rats and the lepers
Overly aware and alone
Ugly and nervous
Hateful and uninspired
Humbled by the realization
That every time somebody told us we could be President
We’d laugh and opt for the flask
Instead of joining the masses
And tearing at our competitions flesh
Until we all fell apart
Blue ribbon upon us all
****** and plastic

“You’re # 1!”