When I was young I didn’t know how a house and a home differ from one another
I knew I have always had a house
so I guess it didn’t matter
But,
As I grew up, I slowly realized how living in a house
and
having a home are a hundred percent different.
I have always had a house I could live in
A house I could stay in
A house I could eat in
A house I could sleep in
A house I could wake up in
I am lucky enough to have a shelter that could protect me
But I have always wished for a house that I could step in and say,
“I’m home”

I have always imagined how having a home would feel like
A home that has a mother who would say good morning to me
as I sleepily walk down the stairs
while she cooks my breakfast and prepares the food I would bring to school.
A home that has a father who would put down his newspaper and his cup of coffee
to greet me with a kiss on my forehead
A home that has a sister who would be my best friend when I need her to be
and would give her motherly advises when I need to hear
A home with a brother who would make me laugh when I’ve had a bad day
and would protect me and would stand for me.
A home that has the people I could call my family.

I have always imagined how we would eat breakfast together
at one dining table
With full smiles on our faces.
I have always imagined how mama would kiss me goodbye
And would tell me not to skip lunch
as papa waits to bring me to school.
I have always imagined how I would come home
and rush to my mother to kiss her “hello”.
I have always imagined how we would wait for my father
to have dinner altogether
And share how everyone’s day has been
I have always imagined a home full of the people that I love the most.


But home,
Home  has been taken away from me long enough that I don’t even know how it would feel  like
How it would feel like to have parents
How it would feel like to have a complete family
How it would feel like not to eat on your own
On that one dining table that was once full
Full of the people that you love
How it would feel like to have a home.
And it hurts so much to think if I would be able to feel like that again
It hurts so much to hope each day if we would be together again one day
But what hurts the most is to be dragged down to the ground
as you realize that half of your life
has been filled with nothing but false hopes.

Now,
I finally know how a house and a home differ from one another.
I finally realized that having a house you could live in
A house you could stay in
A house you could eat in
A house you could sleep in
A house you could wake up in
Is no better
Than having a house you could step in and say,
“I’m home”.