who is saving me from disease?
the doctors.
who is saving me from being homeless?
my mom.


but who is saving me from me?
nobody.
i was the one who tied the rock to my ankle and threw myself into the ocean
i know i could untie it
but i dont
i want to see how long i can stay under without coming back up for air

frankly I've been doing fine with my lungs filled with air from years ago

since then you've set fire to my lungs
they burn inside me

the rock and the knot has been tied too tight
i need someone to go under and with-go the autraucity that i call myself and cut me free.
how could god shove such an inpatient and anxious soul who has more peaks and valleys than it should into a red fluid and stuffed it into skin?
i can see the light abouve me
and all the people playing abouve me
taking in and out that precious air that i crave
new air
not air that is years old

im running out
but i still see the sun.