April Showers

Kurt Cobain died in April
His heart hurt too much to watch his baby girl witnessing him suffer
He left a not telling her that he did this for her
and as for Courtney, she held on to him as tight as he would let her,
knowing depression and addiction are the evil in the world
I can relate to craving the taste of metal in my mouth,
of ******* someone so hard that they nearly break from all of the hurt I pull out of them and make my own.
What he did was not selfish, was not a rash decision,
what he did was self preservation, he traded his body for another one
by crushing the control center of this one.
It was his last resort and leaving behind his baby was the only choice for her to find happiness.
I understand Kurt
The last time I felt the willingness to be alive was the last day that we were together.
That last ride I took free falling backwards into your truck as you navigated the roads that we so often used to call home.
I have shriveled in this world into such a small being
I have forgotten what it is like to feel like living is a good thing
But I will stick around here for you.