The beer in my mouth is sour and bitter
but nothing compares to the foul taste of life,
inside my stomach the alcohol curdles
but within my mind I writhe

I'm sick of people thinking
that I'm an idiot, or a 'fruit'
now every night I'm drinking
and that's when the bad thoughts pollute

they weigh me down like bags of sand
tugging upon the waistline above my hip
fracturing my concentration in the day
and into a night of hysteric paranoia I slip

I don't sleep, the hours passed leer
taunting my lack of ability to rest
the strength I was once proud of is gone
my heart's bleeding, sluggish and distressed

never did I think it would happen
but I've found I no longer care,
I pushed aside the poison reaching for my soul
but to my horror I found nothing there

alone in the black October night
never have I felt like this in all my years,
cuddling up to a blanket that's cold
and a pillow damp with tears.