It´s amusing how some people are never there when you need them. You try to hide the fact that you are lonely by calling people’s attention, but they still seem not to realize why you are doing it. Should you feel hurt? Maybe misunderstood? For why would they look at this calling as a reoccurrence when you have never intended for this to be the case? Had you maybe done so without realizing, and the perspective of yourself is in fact, completely wrong?

From what I remember I have never really been the type that just pity’s herself, or even desperately calls at others by sharing secrets. Of course, always my own, but still. It is a clear lack of attention, and it´s leading to complete unhappiness. I don’t really know who my true friends, or lovers in a sense are, neither am I willing to discover. Yet, I still suffer from it’s staggering punishments.

That looking at your phone for hope - an anonymous love perhaps - which realistically never calls to your door. But you remain vivid on the past, that power you used to have.

You know, and by all means you do, that you are out of control - wish to change it, but continue being grabbed by stronger forces.

You think you are too smart, don’t you? Has it ever occurred to you why you’d think that? Have you at least accomplished something, gone through with any project?

Stop and re-think. You are the remainders of that potential. Everyone invested on you, and when you went out to the market, you proved wrong. You are not worth it, and everyone knows that!