I want a dog who is a big fat coward like me And barks only behind thick glass television screens Face to face his tail is between his legs And he looks away from dogs half his size He hides under the bed during storms And licks robbers on the knees He is a companion that knows what it is to fear To envy the bravado of the brawny action star When your only catchphrase is trembling My dog bounds into the foggy recesses I forgot exist No longer in sight I hear him bark and claw at the echoes within