you swirl around in my head and in the air i breathe i am overwhelmed and intoxicated concepts like fate and destiny tangle together in my head around words like infatuation and sickness and loss yet in our silences i feel the past become irrelevant and the ones who hurt me fade away we span our universe without touching hands its like youve seen my insides and know what they taste like and i want you to feel them again i want you to taste them again i want you to see how my heart beats but im afraid that youll run or you wont like what you see or that ill be too bitter i want things to be even but how can they be how can i be even when everything seems unbalanced our past lives twist around each other and i feel whole and right and calm like ive never felt but its not right is it its not right its not right its not right because its not fair not to you and not to them and i dont want to hurt anyone i just want to keep feeling the way i do when you mention me in passing and i realize i occupy even the smallest space in your thoughts i want more space and more of our special silence and more time and just more i expect too much and want too much and need too much and this is the only way i know how to be and i cant apologize enough because all i do is take and i have nothing to give