it's not so much that i'm falling
but rather
i am being pulled
milligram by
milligram

by some outward guidance
other than god,
gravity, or
fate.

i feel fingers
pierce
my body
and move downward,
thumbs getting
caught
in my collarbones
but eventually finding
their way
home.

they grab ahold of all my
organs
and keep them
tight,
as a cloud of
warmth
envelopes me and
holds
me

just as i always
wanted
to
be
held.

all my limbs
weigh 2000 pounds
each-
almost exactly
how it feels
when you take
one
too many
pain pills.

i try to remedy
this by lying
on my stomach but
my hip
bones
bruise my
skin from the
inside
out-

i am
purple
all the way through.

(but only
if you're looking close
enough)

because at first
glance
i am worlds away from
human.

i am something
else
entirely.