i don't
drift off to
sleep.

instead,
i stumble and
fall into it,
hard.

enveloped in cold
sweat
and vicious nausea,
i pass through all
the stages of
restlessness
until my body
slows down and
gives in.

200 am brings
nightmares
320 brings
panic
and 630 brings
light but
not relief.

everything
aches
aches
aches.

this is
why
last month i started
sleeping at
the foot of my
bed.

so now
in the softest hours
of the day
the moon
reaches out just to
kiss my
cheeks and
gently
loosen
slumber's grip
on me.

i feel safer with
her soothing
touch
because
i am alone and
it's only early morning
but

i am already
so ****
tired.