Today is your birthday.
I wake up to sunshine,
we're going to the beach.
The water is warm enough,
but,
I don't go in.
You loved the water.
I wanted to buy you flowers,
write you a letter,
let it go in the sea,
but,
I couldn't.
I wanted to hold your hand,
I wanted to say, "I love you"
but,
my hands are yours now.
Today is your birthday.
You would have been 54.
I guess you still are,
54,
in a way.
It's just that,
you're in heaven,
now.
I miss you,
until it aches.
I miss you,
until folding in half,
I hold myself,
and shake,
until I am empty again.
Today is your birthday,
and it isn't getting easier.
You gave me love,
you gave me life.
And I hope that,
you're watching from heaven,
mum,
because today I blow you kisses,
and,
set my spirit free,
just like you would have,
on your birthday.