Well. Here we are again, my darling.
I am waiting.
I am waiting for you once again.

Except  that, this time, there is no reason for me to wait.

In truth you are not mine and I do not belong to you any longer.
And yet I sit here, resolutely refusing to move,
my eyes closing with every passing second,
only to open again at the
slightest
flicker
of
light across my drooping lids.

I miss you.

And of course I still love you.
Did you ever doubt it?
No.
You know this.
Is that why you make me wait?

I am sick of waiting for you, my love.
I waited for a year.
I waited for you...
I waited for you to turn around and notice me,
I waited such a long time for you to say you loved me,
to know you actually meant it.
Not like the night I said it first.
When you were so taken aback you said it out of fear.
Out of that
cowardly
inherent
disease
men have to please women.
Without thinking.
Without truly believing.

But this time I will not wait for you.

I will move,
go,
vanish into thin air, into the world.

The stories you told are weights upon my flight.
They drag me down,
the heaviness of your empty words.

I will not wait for you.

My heart, and I.
We are so lonely here, without love.
Miles away from your arms.
How is your heart?
It is cold?

I am not cold. I am rushing into the sunlight.

I will not wait for you.

I am free.