you know those feelings, the ones you can not explain? mine are illusional, they manipulate my brain. there are voices inside of my head that are not me, they are leading me under where I can never be set free. I am terrified of who I am becoming, but you see I am so in love with how you are to me. I am too deeply lost inside of my head, and tonight is another night I will lose it in this bed. I do not have the strength to speak, I guess you can say I have became a total freak. It is difficult to pay attention to the reality of my life, I would rather feel the kind of pain that occurs from a knife. my personality has became shaken, and for thinking I may be enough I know I am probably mistaken. I am afraid that I am falling, there is something wrong inside of me calling. I am stuck inside of a mindset that cannot be understood, and I am fully aware that it is because of all these substances I have took.