I can’t keep my promise any longer.
Feelings for you, only grow stronger
As I lie here, remembering, hating.
But I find myself now questioning, debating.
Was what I did right? Is it the best?
Thoughts that started out small, now won’t give me rest.
In fact, I sit here now writing
Over this subject, fighting
While I should be sleeping. But then I wonder,
Did I rob you of sleep, did your heart I sunder?
Did you lie awake many a night,
Regretting our fight,
Asking yourself if it was your fault?
I lie awake many a night,
Regretting our fight,
Recognizing now that it was my fault.
You weren’t cold. You were desperate.
I wasn’t loyal. I was deaf, and let
My ears hear your words, but missed your heart.
Your mouth whispered “hate me,”
But your heart screamed “love me.”
The voice I listened to was the wrong one
And I’m living, fearing it’s over and done.
The second chance is a gift we’re all given.
You gave me a hundred, after your heart was yet riven.
I threw it away and walked on, cold
Not knowing I’d regret it long before I’m old.
Though did I really hate? Or was it ignorance?
I believed I was doing as bidden. Void of sense.
The voices around me: all my family, many a friend
Did misguide me into believing it was a proper end.
But the voices inside me are bringing me awake.
They tell me I should risk my beliefs, and make
One last call, begging you me to take.