If there were a time when

my heart could have felt,

in all the mess and brokenness,

something -

some kind of hope, some kind of peace in losing

you...but I never did.           And I still can't.

our past is still my present, and I cannot

understand my life without you.  This gaping hole you left feels

so empty.

once I knew.  I knew what happiness was without you, but now

my heart is filled with hollowness, hidden

under layers of gall.  Now, I

cry myself to sleep, knowing I can never get back what we once

had.